Honoring the gifts of my female line was part of my healing

Today I share with you a very special story. I would like to inspire more women and men to take the step to heal their wounds, and especially the female line wounds. It is a bit of a long post, more like a blog, so sit back and relax!

My true purpose lied in my wounds
I grew up in a dysfunctional family, where physical and mental illness were present. I was a care giver from a young age, always ready to "help" people. As a child I couldn't make sense of all that was happening. As an adult, I started to make sense of it, and from being a caregiver wanting to save everybody not always in a healthy way, I became a healer and coach. My true purpose lied in my wounds. I just needed some time to figure it out and make sense of all of it. Healing my wounds has allowed me to guide other people to heal theirs.

I was so good at being a studious, quiet and responsible girl.
I grew up believing that to be loved I have to shut down my own feelings and emotions and I have to put other people's needs and wants before mine. These beliefs were formed in early childhood and supported me to live through a childhood where my family was too busy with their own mess to take care of my emotional needs. Only a few months ago, I shared with my dad what I went through and he told me that he didn't realize that I had endured so much. I can't blame him, I was so good at being a studious, quiet and responsible girl.

A slow start, a realization and a learning curve
With these beliefs in my luggage, I started my young adult life. I made sure I was a care giver in friendships, relationships and in the workplace, living the only life I knew of, but overstepping other's boundaries and letting others stepping on my boundaries. I realized in my late 20s that I wasn't living the life I truly desired. I was melancholic and withdrawn a good part of my 20s. In my 30s my life got a bit better, but I still felt overwhelmed at work, very anxious, still unable to express my feelings and emotions, I suffered from insomnia and back problems flared up. With self-inquiry, coaching and healing I am now on the learning curve of how to express my needs, wants and emotions and to stand up for myself.

When I realize I could release my luggage
During my NLP coaching training and through family constellation therapy, I realized that women in my female line were all care givers who got sick (mentally and physically) and even died young because they had no space to be themselves, no space to live the life they dreamed off. They were squeezed by life, their was no space for their soul to blossom into who they truly were. This is when I realized that the beliefs about having to put others needs before mine and keeping my emotions suppressed I picked up in childhood were not all mine; some belonged to my mother, grand-mother, great-grand-mother and so on. I gave it back through family constellation and healing sessions. Since I started the process of releasing what is not mine, I have been feeling much lighter and ready to live my true purpose in life.

Honoring the gifts from my female line is part of the healing
It took me a while, but I can see now the gifts from my female line. My mother gave me the taste for school, learning and exploration, and I know my grand mother used to insist with my grandfather for them to buy the encyclopedia for the children to read, they were humble and I know she had to "fight" her husband on that. I know this is her legacy and I can recognize and honor my mother and my grand mother for that. As I gave back the luggage, I have honored the gifts and love received, and I have been able to reconnect with a flow of giving and receiving love, healing at the same time my old beliefs that I had to forget myself to be loved.

I am feeling vulnerable to share my story, and at the same time I am happy to share it. I am passionate about women's healing and still with my "helper" personality, now channeled through my work in a healthier way, I would love for more women to heal their female line.