Why are we here? Why am I in this life?
As long as I can remember, I have been curious about the human experience. I have always wondered the connection between mind, body and soul. – and to be honest my life started quite roughly on the emotional side of things.
My parents were raising me atheist and my only connection with any spirituality was when my grandparents took me to church, but I could feel the energy of patriarchy trying to control lives of people. I could feel that what they were talking about or how they delivered it wasn’t align with the truth. I really felt it was all off. When my paternal grandfather died, it all changed.
My first medium experiences
His name was Jean-Jacques, he was so important in my life as a child, because he could play with me for hours, let me win at games, buy me chips and cakes as much as I wanted, took us (my sister and I) on a nice holiday when our parents got divorced. He was one in a few adults around me who would really take the time to connect with me as a child. Your typical super grandpa with a big heart!
He left us suddenly when I was 11 years old. It was a great loss for me and the entire family. A few years later, one day I am sleeping with my grandmother, and who shows up? Papi Jacques (my grandfather) in a dream, he is in a tunnel of light, and I can feel his love and care for me, I can feel a strong connection that has always been there and will always be there.
As I write this, he is sitting at my dining table, laughing, yes because he has always loved laughing when he was in his body and now as a spirit. He has been my guide, as well as a guide for many family members, spreading his love and laughter. His death was also the start of my dad’s spiritual journey and his becoming a recognized medium in France.
As a teenager, I called spirits, the classic way with a glass and letters or with automatic writing, but they were not always good entities coming through, so I kind of stopped. I always felt the presence of spirits and energies, without really being able to pinpoint exactly what it was.
When I was 16 years old, in a dream, my maternal grandmother, who passed away young, came to me in the falling asleep twilight, which is where I used to get my messages. She came and gave me a big pill (like a medication) of light and told me that first I need to heal and then I will be happy, live a happy life and heal others. She has since then also been one of my guides.
In this twilight of falling asleep, I was also attacked by three dark entities that were strangling me. I had to pray out loud to get out of this “dream”. It was very scary. I had nobody to help me (apart from my guides). In 2017 and 2018 I removed 3 entities from my body (with the help of other healers), so now I connect the dots, that was probably them. I discovered they were three children whose lost souls didn’t know they died, I attracted them as a child, while I was going through dark moments in my young life. Their souls were living in me, I uncovered them, as I was ready to change myself, but I felt some strong resistance in me that I couldn’t control.
In 2000, I joined university and would visit my dad every other weekend and we would practice cards reading and channeling spirits. One day, one of his friends came to his house, she was about to get a reading with my dad, but the spirit of her father started to channel through me. I basically told her about her life from start to the end, past and future. It was such an unbelievable experience, and at the same time it was very true.
Until 2014, I basically practiced only with my closest family. One day, in Nairobi, the spirit guide of a friend started to channel through me, this time the calling was too strong, and I decided to start doing it professionally. I trained as a NLP coach and family constellation facilitator to sharpen my skills around healing.
Communicating with the dead and energies to feel more alive
Simply because this is part of my life purpose, connecting with spirits has made me more alive. It gave me a strong spiritual connection, that gives my heart a sense of belonging to a bigger world.
Recently I connected with a spiritual guide who is guiding me places that I would never have imagine existed
This happened only because I worked on myself. In the past 2 years, I have worked relentlessly on myself, facing every dark corner of myself, facing shame, fear and guilt, transforming my hindering beliefs and self-loathing self. In this healing journey, spirits, nature and goddesses have guided me yes, but the hard work has been on me.
As my wonderful friend and teacher Marianne says “no escape”.
No escape facing my fears and all the dark corners of my being
After years of not wanting to look at my shadows and suffering, I took myself by the hand and did it . Probably because I became a mum, and these little ones don’t give you a choice, I had to be my best self, vulnerable yes but staying broken wasn’t not really option.
I want to tell my story to show you that there is a bigger picture to life, there isn’t only your daily tasks, your overthinking mind, the problems at work and in your partnership/marriage. There is a huge world out there full of love and connection. The world of souls, spirits and magic.
At the same time, I believe in the tangible aspects of the human experience, emotions, trauma, embodiment, body, overthinking mind, crushed heart, all these are true.
There is a balance about life as a human between the tangible aspect of the human life, emotions, daily practice, body experience, work, love life, and the spiritual aspect: spirits, connection with nature, auras, past lives, entities, energies. The human body are interface between these two worlds.
My healing journey has been a balance between receiving messages from the spirit world and the aliveness of my being human, working on emotions, hindering beliefs and the trauma I went through as a child.
